I miss you Hope

I miss you my dear Hope.

Astrology for September

Sue Miller seems to be quite accurate for me. Everything dealing with home right now is a struggle that I must move through. Hope you check this out.

http://astrologyzone.com/

Your toughest week will be the eight days that follow September 15. Everyone, of every sign, will be in the same boat, for within a very short time, the universe will send every possible challenge it can throw at us.

men walking outside our window

Yes, you guessed it, men walking on the outside of our window. We have had our building wrapped in scaffolding all summer. In this picture they are taking down the structure, very scary to watch.

my first day of retirement

We had only an extreme noise warning that this destruction was coming on Tuesday morning. When I stepped out of my apartment the guy on the ladder was blocking the door. Honestly I felt like I was in a movie. I rushed to get a camera and right after this shot was taken the battery in the camera died. And so the first tension filled day of my retirement began.

Emotional IQ test

The Emotional Intelligence Test - Abridged will evaluate several aspects of your emotional intelligence and will suggest ways to improve it.
http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/eiq_abridged_access.html

I'm feeling lazy

I want to thank my hands for 17 years of service. They often worked steadfastly side by side sharing the load. On the left we have the dominant hand but that hand refuses to take any unearned praise from the right hand. They are not a fidgeting, nervous or jealous pair, they have been seen folded into each other during long meetings.
I honor them highly for their handy work: cleaning, clapping, stickering, stamping, fronting, hand wringing, hand writing, hand stamping, hand holding, nail clicking, nail biting, finger wagging, shelf tagging, punch the clock, place the product, pick up the phone, paddy cake...?
They both were my best friends and assisted me when I was too tired to think. My hands agree it’s time to kick up my feet and unleash the un-heeled dogs to reveal their shinning happy soles.
Robyn Flatley

“Daddy’s in the hospital”

Mommy’s in the kitchen baking up a storm. The oven is red hot. Her sweat sizzles on the stove top. “Does Daddy like hot cross bums?” I whimpered. “Sweetheart get me the honey!” Big sister grabbed a honey bear laced with ants. I sneezed. Mommy’s in the kitchen and Daddy’s in the hospital waiting for a doctor. My sister flicked an ant at me. Daddy’s doctor is in the kitchen kissing mommy on the mouth. I sneezed louder. Why is Grandma in the kitchen making baked potatoes? They smell yummy but where is mummy?

Plum Island morning 2009

Plum Island 2009

My new love

okay this really cute Kill Bill, ahem, killdeer was romancing me. HOnestly- didn't know if it was a male or female. For those of you who are squeamish about the girl on girl thing you may need to avert your eyes- and close your minds too. I know that's a heavy burden but I will post pictures of the love that did transpire.
while I was in a love trance there were some fucking bugs taking an ounce of flesh from my leg. I have a huge bruise and a terrible rash to prove it. I pulled up my pant legs and dozens of little black thingys fell down into the mud. but I gotta say the love that was witnessed by me was worth all the terror and illness I must go through-christ please don't let it be Lymes disease...please.
I've got clay on the wound and my heart belongs to the Killdeer. Paul got jealous, that's how hot and heavy it got.

Short cut to hell

Short cut to hell

I hang on
a silver thread
my squeaky inhale
tweaky knee
gimpy hip
body trip



speaking of that, I took a short cut to work and as my right hand held the wobbly rail my foot slipped on a wedge of ice. wrenched my arm and bruised my kidney as my body slammed into the edge of the cement sidewalk. frick! hell of a short cut.

Eagle cloud

Broken Spring

oh the wind is keening
howling in my bones
screaming all night long

oh my heart is breaking
muscle and blood pumped
an aching in my breast

oh my tears are running
salty rivers filled with pain
a muted cry within me now

yea a few pounds of bones
feathers that once were proud
her call an inner echo

Wednesday no eagles

No sign of male or female. I can't tell if I'm in pain or suffering. We will go out tomorrow and look again.

Tuesday still no female eagle

she's gone. How could I have loved this wild thing so much? I still have hope...and we wait till it's impossible.

Monday no female eagle spotted

The male was seen hanging around the nest building site. No female seen for two days. Yet the experts say everything is fine. I am getting that the two eagles were bonded and would not have separated. He was feeding her and making sure she stayed alive and well. But he stands alone under the nest. A broken spring is breaking my heart.

New Hampshire Eagles 2.21.09

So where is the female eagle? She was not spotted today, Sunday Feb. 22. The male was seen near the Vernon Dam. Is she all right or has she succumbed to her injury?
In this photo there are three eagles in the trees. They appear as dots: the larger dot on the left is an immature (could be this pair's offspring) and on the right are the pair of eagles. Wish I could have gotten a better photo. Right after I took this photo the mature eagles joined the immature and the female made quite a ruckus as she tried to land on the branch. The male landed on a lower branch and sidled over toward the immature. Shortly after the immature eagle flew away.

Our female looks ragged and injured while the male looks at her with what looks like concern. He has been a faithful bird: staying by her side.
I have great hopes that she will recover.

Local Eagles

The female eagle has her right foot curled up and she is leaning off to the left. We saw her land on the branch with difficulty. She vocalized an extended call of distress to her mate. He is facing away from her on a higher branch. Because of the distance the photo ended up blurry. For over five years I have watched this pair: work on nests, make love, raise baby eaglets, lose baby eaglets and now this injury could possibly be her death. She's only about 13 years old. Eagles can live 20 to 40 years.

Inspired by my dear sister Betsy

“All judgment reveals itself to be self-judgement in the end, and when this is understood a larger comprehension of the nature of life takes its place.”
Dr. David Hawkins

Winter Wind warning

Old Man winter's
Breath, held frozen
Was let loose

Cumulonimbus mamma
Ran over mountains
To the east


Altostratus translucidus
Low and sexy
Rubbed mamma

Fully exhausted
The old man
Inhaled

livingroom blurrrrrrrrrrr

another sleepless night of art and glass

Eighth Vigil

Eighth Vigil

Quietly I honor ‘Himself’
both our hearts broken;

dad’s beloved wife
cast him out at death

my beloved mother
cast out me at birth

her madness began with my first breath
she sunk into a schizoid delusion after his last

he begged to come home to die
gone were his home and daughters

mom held in lock down ward
whispering to her voices about dad

his lungs filled, heart seized
I keened


my saint
of St. Valentines Day

Dad's St Valentines day death

every year
since my father died
I hold in my heart
a quiet vigil of his
broken heart, he died
as his beloved wife cast his memory
into the dust, she had moved on
sinking into a schizoid delusion
of glamor, fame and honor
he waited till the very breath in his body gave up
lungs filled and heart seized
we, his five daughters wailed
I keened loudly
my heart broken
as well by that woman
my mother,
I hold him sacred
my saint of St. Valentines day

Winter

Winter of 2009

Fire under Wolf Moon

The L-Block burns

Stepping up to an emotional tension, I've stretched myself thin.

The night of the blaze I walked streets filled with slush, a steady stream of water, and ice. The police cars strobed till I thought I might have a seizure. Fire and ice.. wasn't that in the bible? Vapor clouds of cremated cats, lead paint, baseball cards mixed with baby's clothes drifted by. We inhaled memories. Tired firemen decked in heavy suits and oxygen tanks climbed up slippery ladders into pink smoke.

One tiny wrapped cylinder of tobacco.

I rose and my heart shuddered with adrenaline remembering how fire, as barbed cat tongues, licked us clean.

We come in naked and by god we go out the same.

wave nymphs ride

gale winds and water two of my favorite elements.

Wave mania on Cape Ann

During our vacation there was a huge low off the coast of Cape Ann, Massachusetts. The thunder of fifteen foot waves rocked our world.
The two shadows on the rocks are- you guessed it!

Night of Pink Glass & Light

Night of Glass & Light

my granddaughters

my hair

searching for a home

I've been searching for a home I can call my own.

Plum Island waves 2008

Storm low off the coast created six to ten foot waves.