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Tina and Bethany we are still looking for you

This is a poem after six years of searching for the bodies of Tina and Bethany Sinclair. Mother and daughter disappeared one night after a fight with the mother's boyfriend. Recently the boyfriend had been released from prison. He had been convicted for molestation of his daughter. These days he restlessly rides our roads again.
I have participated in searches for the last six years. The family would like to have closure.
We gathered this morning under a rain drenched gray tarp and ate donuts and pizza...waiting for something to unfold, maybe a miracle.

I rose at dawn
from red wrinkled sheets
unfolding my thoughts
from dreams
of cold streams


morning mountain search
heart sick from wondering
how to find
of their bodies


tobacco silky snake
slithered into my nostrils
chatter of eyebrow prices
hair highlighting accent
we waited

mourning mountain search
heart struck from wandering
looking for pieces
of their bodies

pandemonium over the perpetrator
riding his truck
too close to their memorial
an inward scream escapes
psychically thrashing

mourning mama sinks
her teeth into donuts
looking for places
to rest from their deaths

windy day
weeping seeping water
trees scratch the sky
till it’s bloodless
my eyes search the grass
a bit of bone or hair

mountain moving mama
sweet Tina
give us a tell, a hint
six years and still looking

mummy oh mummy

why pretend
to love me

I still hate you
wish it could change

ghosts scurry past
my angry energy

why pretend
to love you

yes you were sick
I know that so well

but why do I need
to excuse

you were so cruel
touch, word, look

I withered
power was yours

now you are dead
power is mine

wish I could be kind
to your memory

Elephant alas

1.
a strange tale I tell to thee
pray you pull up a chair and see
how in ancient times a fable came to pass
wild story of an elephant and a lass
marriage of man and beast
please come and join in the feast


2.
How did the elephant-god grow inside this one?
many noble men came and had their fun,
leaving slippery seeds tucked deep inside
to celebrate their human bride
but elephants in blue and gray
came stealthily into the fray


3.
elephants all night and day
with noses long that sure did sway
a quilt of wrinkled skin and toes
a path of peanut shells, god knows
elephants did duck and dart
while dancing into her heart


4.
when her babe was due be born
at four a.m. she was shorn
prayed Ganesh a solemn vow
help me to embrace this creature now
huge crowds gathered outside to see
the dazzling birth, at once, of thee


5.
dawn bled a crimson light
causing everyone a terrible fright
drunken men that had appeared quite tame
were wild and then became inhumane
elephants in blue and tan
were lurking close at hand



6.
bellowed through his long pink nose
burst her bedroom door with that hose
the crowd swelled and a few did jeer
many still toasting with a beer
elephants quite bold did dare
gallop upon the peopled square



7.
a hush descended over the air
baby rose from his birth chair
man and beast stood eye to ear
then came the stink of human fear
elephants in blue and red
where weeping tears of dread




8.
all were kneeling with their heads bowed low
two a breast in a neat long row
baby’s pink trunk wrapped round his mother’s waist
he suckled with a lusty haste
the evening star was drawing near
bawdy songs broke out for more beer


9.
my tale of course has a darker side
humans trampled when they tried to ride
the pink elephants that did appear
when finally consumed was all the beer
mourning elephants in black and gray
filed out of town in terribly quiet way

10.
by noon the troops had rallied
guns and bombs and fear were tallied
through the town the church bells rang
songs of beer no longer sang
“I knew they’d kill us!” they did chant
mother’s ears burned to hear such a rant

11.
drums began to beat
the sun turned up the heat
a thousand names elephants did call
“gods save us from this demonic fall
we had gathered to celebrate
human body with elephant pate”

12.
Elephants in meditations woke
as gods laughter loudly broke
thoughts of war all fell away
“We have lost the heart to kill today!”
elephants in yellow and white
led a parade of humane delight

13.
upon a lotus of mothers milk
songs of peace where the ilk
Ganesh’s father Shiva did appear
everyone ordered some near beer
Elephants adorned with flowers bright
ridden by humans all through the night

dreaming water: living air

~~~~
In the reflection I am well
sickness has no foothold
beneath water's skin of mirror
I am breathing with great ease
~~~~



~~~~
we paddled
over the icy skin
of river's dream,
you dying
me sick
from love
~~~~